Last Day of School: Friday.

Technically today wasn't a school day. We were checked out and could do what ever we want. Randy showed up and I was with Loriann, and Lizzy already. We decided to walk to Rachelle's house and wake her up cause we were going to have games at the park. Lizzy ended up turning back with Tessa. We got to Rachelle's house and woke her up... She didn't like that very much ha ha. She got ready and we went back to the baseball fields. Eventually Rachelle ended up leaving so Randy and I were left to chill alone.
We wanted to lay on the grass but it was all wet. So, we decided to climb a tree by the track. I didn't realize how fun climbing tree's could be. Maybe it was just because I was with him, but either way it was fun. We sat up there for a little bit and then climbed down and laid in the grass. He's such a cutie. He got his jacket and made me a pillow. I got to French braid his hair, and we watched the clouds. It's crazy watching the clouds move. It makes you feel so ... small. It relaxes me. When I was little and I saw the clouds move it made feel better. After my parents would fight and I would watch the clouds or the stars it make me realize that the world wouldn't come to an end just because something bad happened. And I was right. Although I do miss my dad... More then anyone would ever know. I'm a way different person since he has been dead. I hate myself now.
After a while of just laying there relaxing the buses pulled up and it was time for me to go. Its only been like eight hours and I'm going crazy! There are over 100 days of summer and I wont get to see Randy for any of them. Time is just dragging on and this is only the first freaking day! He's going to get so annoyed by me. I miss him. I'm so stupid. I just want him around all that time. Oh well. Let's pray we last throughout the summer. :(

The Dance!

There was a dance last Wednesday after the senior graduation. I wanted Randy to go SO bad! I wont get to see him at all this summer. So, I was trying to cram as much time in with him as I could this week. Call me stupid but being around Randy I am just happy.
Any who, a while ago Jared, and Rachelle introduced me to "The secret" I tried it out... Call me loco en la cabeza BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS! (For those of you who don't know what the secret is it is kind of like making a wish. But when you make the wish you don't have to blow out candles on a birthday cake, find a shooting star, or wait for your alarm clock to turn to 11:11. Instead you just make the wish into your head when ever you want and think about it, but instead of thinking about it you picture it happening, and think to yourself that no matter what happens you'll get what you want. Then, your magical brain kinda makes your wish come true.) Yeah, I know isn't it kind of crazy? Well, I decided to try it out. When Randy said he would try to make it to the dance, I pictured him there. And it worked! That or it was just Randy being able to make it either way it worked.
He sat through the long boring graduation my crazy friends wanted to go to. Lol everyone was all dressed up but Randy and I. -I hate dressing up. Then the graduation ended and Shane wanted to take a picture of Randy and I and Randy was like,
"That's a great idea!" and I was like,
"NO IT'S NOT!" Then, we went into the lunch room and hid by the lockers waiting for the dance to start because Randy didn't have money to pay for himself. Is it sad we can sit there and say nothing and I can be having fun? Cause, I think it's sad. The dance started and it was so much fun! Lol. Randy actually danced and it was so cute! Lol. We danced every slow dance and the song "I thought I loved you then" song came on and he said that song makes sense or something like that. That made me really happy!
I love it when were dancing and he just stares into my eyes. It's so cute. Any who the dance was fun and when it ended Katie saw Randy walking and asked if he needed a ride. He got in and we dropped him off at his sisters work.
It was a great night. :D

The Last Week Of School: Monday

Fridayish I found out that Randy was not going to go to school on Monday because he was going to the zoo. To be honest I was pretty upset about that. Lol. But, I woke up this morning and there was tons and tons of snow on the ground! Then, I got a text from Randy saying he was going to school! I was so excited! Of course, I went to text him back and my phone bill wasn't paid. I was so determined to have a good day though.
I go outside and start walking to my bus stop and it was like a freaking blizzard outside! One half of my body was completely covered in snow. I was drenched and freezing.
I got to school and went to my first hour class. In that class we had these brochures due and mine wasn't done cause my partener and I were both absent. So, we got another day to finish it so we all went into the library. I was fighting to get that computer to work. IT WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING I WANTED IT TO! Finally, I was just about done with my brochure when the schools power goes out... Yeah, that right there just sent my mood in the opposite direction.
So, that class was over and it was time for the awards assembly. I was so excited for that cause that means I would have gotten to see Randy. We get in there and get settled down and I told Randy I was cold. So guess what he does...
He takes off his jacket even though his first hour class that was before the assembly was outside in another building. He was probably colder then I was. But he takes off his jacket and puts it on me. It was warm and it smelled like him. It was yummy. Then, underneath the jacket he grabs my hand and there freezing! I felt so bad that I took his jacket when he needed it more then me. But then the principal comes up and wants us to move to the bleachers upstairs so we did. While we were up there Randy asked for some gum. I thought I had some in my backpack but it must have fallen out. Anywho, I bent down to grab some and when I came up he had moved his arm so it was behind me. That was so unexpected! I got crazy butterflies and forgot how to breathe. Finally, I was able to relax. We took turns laying out heads of each others shoulders and his hands were now warm from holding them. I was so relaxed. I was warm, he smelled good, and I almost fell asleep laying on his shoulders. Eventually we had to move to another room where all we could do was hold hands, and then it was time to go back to class.
Fourth hour was the class that we had to go to. Fourth hour is welding/metals. The class I walked in the first day of the semester and said,
"Mr. Baird if you don't think I can pass this class I want you to tell me, because if I can't I am switching out." And he assured me that I would. First quarter was easy all it is was testing. I passed them all. Second quarter was actual welding. The entire time I would stress and he kept telling me that I didn't have to worry about it that it always works out in the end. My mom even called and he told her that if I gave it 110% all the time he would give me an A. Which I did! So, today was just a cleaning day. I did my job and he showed me my grade and it was a B+. I asked him what I could do and he said I was three points away from an A-. He said I could come after school and make up those three points. Either way it wasn't the 4.0 gpa I worked my butt off all year to get. Luckily, Randy walked into the room or I would have started crying my eyes out right there. We walked up to the school and some how I managed not to burst into tears on the way up. I think it was because he had my hand, and it was warm. Something about that made me not want to cry. It was lunch time and I walked into the bathrooms to call my mom and tell her. When I got on the phone with her I just bursted out crying. My mom was so mad that he wouldn't give me my A because he even told her he would give it to me.
Once I finally got myself together I told myself I wouldn't look in the mirror because I knew that would just make my day worse. I went and got in the lunch line and ate lunch sitting next to Randy. Once we got done eating he asked me what was wrong and it took everything I had to not want to burst out crying. I told him I was just mad and that was it. We sat in the hall and held each others hand and I laid on his shoulder. Then, his friend wanted to take pictures of us. I hit my face. I bet I had mascara all over because I had been crying and there was no way I was going to take pictures looking like that.
The bell rang and I went to fifth hour. The entire time I had my head on my desk. I was so upset about my grades it wasn't even funny. (Still am.) I feel like such a failure. I gave it my all, all freaking year long. I had to get sleeping pills because I was worrying so much, and I was about to quit track for it too. And now this... Ugh.
Once that class was over Randy was standing in the hallway waiting for me. He looked so cute. He kept telling me to cheer up. He's such a cutie. We got to the stairs and he gave me a hug. I seriously about started crying then to. He's such a cute kid! I went to P.e. all we did was sign year books. Then, it was time for seventh. I'm not sure exactly what went on in the book I was supposed to finish because I was staring at him. One time he even looked up at me and smiled and that just made everything better. School got out for the day and we stood in between the two glass doors. He's so cute. He offered his jacket again also. It was time for him to go and before he did he gave me a nice big hug. I was finally starting to get happy again. He left and I walked down to the welding shop and Mr. Baird told me there was nothing left to do. That all the extra cleaning that needed done was done. That right there made me want to jump off a cliff and die...
Still do. So yeah... that was my day.

Summer 2010

Hey guys guess what!?! One week left of school and then its summer baby! Too bad the weather hasn't caught on. Lol. Now, it's time to write some summer goals to keep me busy because during the summer all I do is sleep, eat, get on the computer, eat when I'm bored. So, as we all know during the summer all I do is pretty much get fat. Well, this summer is going to be different.
GOALS:
1. Go to seven peaks at least four times.
2. Swim in Mona res. often.
3. Wake up and have a healthy breakfast... that latest is 9:30.
4. Do some P90X
5. Run. I need to keep in shape so cross country wont kick my butt like it did this year.
6. Get a tan
7. Read four books. :D Cause I don't get to do that during school.
8. Get my permit.
9. Try to keep eating healthy foods.
10. Get mom on a bike.
11. Hang out with friends!
12. run to Mona res with Jordan and jump right in!
13. Have a barbecue!

Movie Night.

Thursday night, I herd there was a movie night at our school. I really really really wanted to go because school is almost out and I'm going to wish it was back in. Call me lame but it's true I always do that.
So, I was asking a ton of people if they were going and no one even knew about it! So, I planned on going with Loriann and Lizzy. I told Randy about it, but I doubt he could have gone. So, Lizzy and Loriann had a concert thing so they couldn't have gone. Then, I was talking to Jordan about it on face book, and she was going to go also. So, we planned on bringing snacks, pillows, blankets, and pajamas. I went to her house early to bake cookies and we drove with her dad to Nephi to watch her little brother in his band concert thing.
Then, Randy texted me saying he could go. We walked over to the high school and Randy was there. We settled down to watch blind side, and I didn't really get to see the show. Lame enough as it sounds I was staring at him... the whole time. At first we were just holding hands, and then I decided to put his arm around me. I don't know really why I did it, but I did. And I don't regret it either. :D
I grabbed his knee so it would tickle him. Lol. That was fun cause he as a cute smile. I also got to stare at him and then he would catch me and say "what?" and I would look away. lol. :D Other times when he caught me he would just stare back. That was just a good night. I really like Randy he is so cute! Almost everyone I know approves of him too. :D Which is a major plus.
Thanks Jordan. :D I know you didn't have much fun. Sorry man. But you made it possible for me to have a good night. :D Thanks man.

Day One....

Day 1 of being Randy's girlfriend:

Well... He's so sweet! I'm glad me is mine. That's all I can say. He has crazy blue eyes. there so pretty! Next time you talk to him... look at his eyes. Especially if he has his light blue button up shirt on. (That's my favorite shirt on him.)... And he smells really good. Yeah. We were walking up from fourth hour from the vocational building and he took off his jacket and the wind was blowing and I could smell him... yum.

I was his partner in English... Lol He was having a hard time getting the work done cause he couldn't concentrate, and I was too busy staring at him... Yup... True story... Sad enough as it is... Eventually we got it done. Go us!

I'm still scared to grab his hand, or hug him... Hopefully that will go away. If not... that's really okay to... Which reminds me... Jessica says Kelly Clarkson's song "I do not hook up" reminds her of me. (If you haven't herd it, it is in my playlist... Scroll down.) I don't know if that's such a good thing. She says it is, because I set high standards for myself... That or I'm just a boring girlfriend... lol.

RandyRandyRandy

Hey guys. Guess what! Randy's all mine! Since today after school. :D I have a good feeling about Randy. He's such a cutie! I know... I'm such a lame-o. But, if you guys were me... You would understand. You know?

Randy just treats me right. You know? He opens doors for me. :D Then, he did something today that just made me smile. He had a penny and he put in on the ground heads up for someone else to grab. Then, at lunch his penny was still there and his friend gave him a nickel so he went and put that nickle heads up next to the penny. But... what was even more weird was in the book stargirl were reading in English ther girl in the book puts coins on the ground for people to pick up. Weird huh?

Randy's so cute. I love getting notes from him. They just make me smile. In English before class started Randy already had a book on his desk, but instead he gave it to me and got up and got himself one. I don't know why that made my day but it did. Do you have any idea how hard it was to NOT smile after that? It was dang hard.

Then, after school he walked me to my bus. I got on the bus today and smiled the whole way home. My sister was next to me singing "She's in love with the boy" over and over again. Little did she know that didn't embarrass me. Just make me more happy. :D All I know is that I sure hope this works out. Cause he is cute! Even some of my friends think so. :D (He's mine. I called first!)

I just hope I can be a good girlfriend to him. I hope I don't become to clingy, or change myself again like I did with the last one to impress him. I hope he doesn't change himself either. I hope everything just stays perfect like it is now. :D Also, I refuse to let him get in the way of my friends and grades like last time. But, It will be better then last time. I can feel it.

WaNtInG mE bAcK

I told you this would happen,
admit it; I was right.
And now you lay there wondering
what you did that night.

Everything you thought we had
those feelings that you felt
are now only memories
your life's cards have dealt.


Don't you wish you would seen
before your actions took control?
Don't you miss the good old days
before your broken heart took control?

Don't you wish it was me
who was torn up inside?
Don't you wish the pain would stop
and the hurt would subside?

But now you regret everything ,
and now you want those feelings you now lack.
But now you lay there wishing ,
and wanting it all back .

Coincidence? I think not!

So, today I was driving up to BYU for my state track meet, and we were listening to the radio... the song that goes something like, "I'm already there. Take a look around. I'm the sunlight in your hair. I'm the shadow on the ground" came on. I started crying. My dad used to listen to that song. Fifteen minutes later Ashley called. She told me that my grandpa Llewelyn had just died... I asked when, and she told me fifteen minutes ago. Coincidence? Yeah, doubt that.
My race wasn't that good... I was a second slower then my fastest time. I couldn't breath and I was having panic attacks because I was so nervous. BUT Gary thinks I was the only freshman running that... So I guess I did pretty good.