It's crazy how one person impacts a persons life.

Chris is leading a canoeing trip for three days, he has no cell phone service and not talking to him is driving me crazy. When we normally text our conversations are one worded, and a mixture of "I love you" and smiley faces. At the time, it seems like it doesn't mean anything, and it's not even worth texting him because we don't really even have conversations, but when he is gone I realize I love looking at my phone and seeing his name pop up even if it is just a smiley face. Who knew a colon and a parentheses meant so much? I don't really text anyone else since I am such a loner, and don't really care much to make friends anymore...

When I moved to his school,l I guess you can say I had no interest in making friends. I was not used to these brutal school systems, (I was more used to the lazy school systems where I used to live.) and I ended up studying before, during lunch, and after school. I quit all my after school sports and stayed up until three in the morning doing homework. Not to mention we had nine people living in a three bedroom house, and most the time I slept in the garage with the dog.

Needless to say, Making friends wasn't exactly a high priority at the time, and finding myself a boyfriend was out the of the question!

Out of all the girls in the entire school, Chris somehow decided to want me as his girlfriend. Of course most couples say this about the person they are dating to show that the person they are dating is super amazing and such, but with me that is a whole different story... Me and Chris dating is like a dirty, grey, misshaped rock (me) dating a vibrant, red, and super shiny bouncy ball. (Chris) It just doesn't work!

He's a super popular Senor with tons of friends. He hangs out with guys that have no worries and act stupid for fun, and super frilly girls with short skirts that cheer lead and have super high pitched fake voices. He wins everything he does without even trying, has tons of scholarships, and awards. Everyone loves him including teachers, and parents. He considers himself a people pleaser, and he's super competitive. He seriously plays every sport out there, and he has the average "happy" home life. He worries about nothing and gets everything he wants.

This perfect and talented young man wanted to date me. The super nerd who is a loner and has no friends. Who hates people who act stupid for fun, and hates cheerleaders, skirts and dresses, and fake high pitched voices. Someone who never wins anything even if I do put my all into it, and probably wont get any scholarships. Everyone hates me for the most part because I can't be normal, and I speak my mind to much. (Practically the only time I do talk at school.) I am defiantly not a people pleaser, in fact I purposely do the opposite of what people tell me to do, just because I hate people telling me what to do. I hate being competitive and the only sport I actually enjoy doing is running. My home life is far from average and its only happy when I ignore the fact that I'm pretty sure my family hates me. (Yes, this would be the first time I have ever admitted this to the world.) I worry to the point that I make myself sick, and I work for most the things I have. Him bringing me home was probably the only thing he has ever done to disappoint his parents in his life!

I hope everyone understands why him and I shouldn't be together. When he first took notice of me, I ignored him. In fact, I admit I never even noticed he was there. Today we laugh about it, but it's really astonishing to me how much I didn't even notice him when he practically threw himself at me! I finally started realizing he existed when my sister told my mom i ignored him when he tried bragging to me about some scholarship he was awarded. My mom chewed my butt out for not noticing him. (It's ridiculous she did that. Aren't mom's supposed to want to repel boys from their daughters?) I started talking to him because my mom forced me too, not really because I wanted too. Actually, I hated having people to talk to because it peeled me away from my homework, and actually made me talk to people. Frustrating? HECK YES!

After a while of talking to Chris and pretending to be interested for the sake of not having my mom yell at him, my mom told me that I should date him. I decided to try it out. NEVER had my mom TOLD me to date a guy before. My previous boyfriends were druggies, emo's, lower then average students, and at the time them bringing me home to their parents was like a miracle to their parents---in fact some of their parents even got teary eyed when they heard I broke up with him. (By the way, it's HUGE setback to go from being a miracle to a disappointment might I add.) So, I thought it would be interesting to date someone my mom wanted me to date for once.

For a couple months of dating Chris I really, really didn't want to be with him. (Don't judge me okay, I just wanted to be alone and dedicated to school.) Dating him was more a chore then anything. Now I actually had to talk to his family and friends, and be pressured into going to prom and being "normal"... (I HATE NORMAL! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!)

Now, things have really hit me... hard. After being sick and having him take care of me, and having someone to talk to when I'm upset, I realize dating him isn't all THAT bad.

I enjoy being with him now. I feel like I'm dating my best friend. There are some things Chris knows about me (and oddly accepts) that I never thought of telling my best friends... let alone my boyfriend. Without Chris I would have no job this summer, nothing to do this summer, no one to talk to, no one to vent on, no one to lean on when I am hurting and so much more. It's crazy how Chris... one person... has such an impact on my life.

(Although I do admit, dating him is super hard sometimes because we are so different. He wants to be bubbly and be a NORMAL *grinds teeth together* teenager, and I just want to be introverted and different. Not to mention I went from being the light in the guys' I was dating lives, and now I am the storm cloud that washes over a beautiful day. Not to mention he wants to be together all the time and my parents only really allow once a week. It does get hard, but it's SOOOOOOOO worth having him there you know?)

... Now the hard part... keeping him around especially now that he is graduated.