I used to be a super positive person. I used to love helping people out and cheering them up. I used to love school, and enjoyed the challenge of homework and competing in sports, but that has all changed. Since my dad died i am a completely different person. Not one he would probably he proud of either. He would probably look at me today and say, "what the hell happenes to my little girl?" I cant handle all this stress anymore! Im so burnt out, and I am learning that the reason why is because i don't have a reason to fight anymore. I stress out because i do care, but i always fail at everything I do. Today at three in the afternoon i sat down super excited to write and essay and impress my history teacher. Now i sit here at almost eleven at night frustrated because there is no possible way to write about the assignment i was given. Not to mention the computer kept over heating, my email i saved it to stopped working, and i couldnt find anything on the assignment i was given. Nothing is going right. I am crying right now because i just spent eight hours on an essay but still have nothing to show for it. My mom caught me crying and told me to go to bed that it wasnt worth it. It is worth it to me. I am the type of person who tries my hardest is everything i do, i cant just stop. Its so annoying. I have never not turned something in and the only assignments in high school so far that have been late, i turned them in only a day late.
Im so fed up with this crap. I need a huge pick me up. A reason to want to try again. I need a reason to care.
I want all these things but for some reason i keep getting shoved back down..
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Once again i fail
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1 comment:
Oh gosh you're going through a lot!
This is definitely a rough time in your life and I can see why you feel like giving up right now.
It won't be fair for me to say that I understand what you're going through, because I don't.
And it's probably worse than I imagine.
Everything is frustrating and you feel like giving up because you're life's a mess.
Well, I don't know what to say to make you want to try again and give you a reason to care.
Because that has to come from within you. There is something that's holding you back and you need to find out what that is. Your dad passed away and that has affected you a lot, you need to make peace with the fact that even though he's gone in person, he will still always be there in spirit.
And you need to get up and try your best, not just for him, but for yourself, because you deserve the best. Smile? :)
I really hope I helped. And you have a really nice blog here, i'm going to follow :D
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