ALASKA!

Guess what guys! It's offical! We are moving to Alaska! I'm so excited! Like seriously my room is already ready to go. I just need to sell my bed, dresser, and tv and pack my clothes and I'm ready to go! Were leaving in the middle of August. I'm so excited! I get to be with my family again! I get to make new friends and go to a new school, AND I might get my puppy.
Which will be good because I need someone to run with that will run with me. Everyone else I've ran with is either too slow or too fast. I'm so excited!

MoViNg

Well... There's good news, and there is bad news. But... Its the same news...
I'm moving! The reason why that is good is because I seriously need a new start. I need to get away from here. Why? Well, because in this house in my very own kitchen I learned my dad died, and that's where this all started. I got depress and in my very own room I tempted to cut the pain away, I tried to starve myself cause I thought I was getting fat, but that ended up back firing and I stuffed my face and ended up doing the complete opposite... getting fat. Then, I just got angry and now I just need a new start. A home where all these things wont "haunt" me. In case you guys are wondering no I'm not depressed, no I'm not cutting, no I'm not trying to starve myself. I honestly think cross country cured that for me. Also, all that weight I gained and more I lost. :D Wooh!
The reason me moving is bad is because I have people I care about here. Randy, and Jordan mostly. Those two are awesome! I'm going to miss them so much! But, I'm going to see if I can come visit, or if they can come visit me.

And where will I be moving? It sounds like I'm going home to Alaska. :D You see, the bank took our house yesterday. The for sale sign is up, and we have this weird thing hanging on our door knob. Someone is coming to look at our house today at three. After someone decides to buy it we have thirty days to get out.
So far it sounds like the plan is that were going to sale our suburban (sad day I love my suburban its a beast!) and get a new one. We going to fill it up with all the crap were taking and pull a trailer along with. Katie and my mom will drive to Alaska. I will fly with chase up to Alaska, and Steve will stay here and finish out school in an apartment.
Also, my cousins, aunt, uncles, and grandparents will be up there. Also, my older sister will be too!

And I've already decided my cousin Vince is getting forced to teach me guitar. :D

=(

I'm a terrible girlfriend. I let some stuff that has been going on in my family get to me. Then I took it out on Randy. I know I shouldn't have and I feel dumb. It's also me worrying that the same things that will happen in past relationships will happen again.
I just... worry he'll leave me for someone better. I hate that feeling. I'm pretty sure I've jacked things up big time for myself. I don't really deserve him though. He's too good for me anyways. I should feel comfortable with him hanging out with some of his friends that are girls without him falling for them right? Right... Ugh. That just makes me worry more.
Also, my mom wants to go home to Alaska. So, does Katie. I really don't have a say, but my mom has been through so much and her dad is dying. What am I supposed to say? "Mom. Were not leaving. We staying here. I'm sorry, but you can't see your dad's final moments because I'm a stuck up brat of a daughter."
Ugh. Why can't something good come easy for me? I have the bad stuff coming in like a breeze.

I'm moving... For sure this time.

I know you guys have herd this before, but I have to move this time. The bank is taking our house, so now we have to move. I woke up this morning to my step dad packing...
Surprise...
I don't want to go this time. I want to stay. I'm going to miss Jordan, and Randy the most. They are my heroes.

GAH!

Agh! Stupid movie. I miss him. :(

Hemophilia 5K

Today, I got up at five in the morning and went and ran a 5K for my steps dads hemophilia foundation. Unfortunately, we got caught in traffic and we had one minute to get on out numbers, and strip into shorts and a tank top. Also, I had to pee, and there was no way I was going to run 3.1 miles having to pee! So while everyone else started the race I was in the bathroom. Ha ha. I caught up to Katie, my mom, and my mom's boss and stripped down, grabbed my ipod and ran.
I cheered people on and waved to a police officer. Ha ha. When I finished the finish line I had finished it in 25 minutes. Also, I was in 11th place out of 316. I was second place in my age group. (13-18)
Yeah I was pretty happy. I also walked another mile walking back to find where Katie and them were at in the race. Now, I'm freezing cold and starving.
Ha ha. I had fun though. :D

Learn.To.Fail by Kalli Dakos

I know you guys have seen this on my other blog, but I absolutely love this poem.

Learn to stumble, learn to fall, only then will you grow tall. Learn to try, learn to fail, only then will your life sail, Like a ship upon the sea that found the secret to be free. Don't dodge from waves or flee from storms, don't stay where it is safe and warm. But journey, like a bold, strong ship that goes through life well equipped, To ride the waves and seek new shores, to go where no one's gone before. And if your ship should hit a rock, and break apart and have to stop. Then take the time to make repairs, rest for a while, but don't stay there. And amid the shattered decks and sails don't worry that so far you've failed. Just fix and patch and build once more, continue to your distant shore. And if you lose your way this time, seek once more until you find Your dream come true at journey's end, then rest a while and dream again. The ship that makes it in the night is the ship that sees its own strong light. In spite of all the dangerous rocks and the chance of getting lost, The ship that's not afraid to fail is the only ship that's free to sail. By Kalli Dakos