Sitting on the sidelines

"The emotions that can break your heart are sometimes the very one that heals it..."-Nicholas Sparks

Growing up we think of a lot of things, we think about learning to ride a bike, going on our first date, heart break, prom, learning to drive, and getting married... Every detail in all of those include having a dad. I feel like I am sitting on the sidelines of life and watching everyone take advantage of what I'll never have.
Hunting season is here and I sit and watch people leave school to go spend time with their dad's. I hate it. I can't drive because I pass out, but when I do learn to drive I will be wishing I was with dad. I miss him.
I know going through this has taught me a lot of things. I guess you can say the emotions that come with death sure did heal my heart in a way. I am more compassionate and understanding, but it's not worth it. It all just hurts WAY too bad.