It's not about having the smallest waist and its not about looking better then the girl next to me, although the weight that I lost from it sure is a plus. It's not a chore I do to release stress and develop toned legs, it's so much more then that. It's the thought that I don't have to impress the mirror. It's the relief I get when I know that I don't have to do my hair, coat my face with layers of unnatural make up or even have a matching outfit to do what I love. The road, sidewalk and treadmill isn't going to care what I look like. It's not going to care if I am grumpy and it's not going to care whether or not I shaved my legs. It's always there for me and the road goes on an on. The road isn't going to end. the world is now coated with roads for me to run on, and I plan to do that exactly. I have developed more then just a hobby, I've developed a reliable best friend.
Running was there for me when nobody else was. I look back at the hard times in my life and I see people walking in and out of my life, but running staid with me. I started running soon after my dad died. I wasn't good at it in fact I was horrible, but I kept with it. I was the slowest runner on my cross country team but some how I dragged my butt to practice every day. My team even had to to wait for me to finish my run because I was so slow. Even to this day, I don't know why I kept with it, but I am glad I did.
I didn't have to say anything for the road to get it, it just read my mind. It listened to my head go on an on and it never did judge me, not once. It didn't go on trying to tell me about how horrible it's life was and it didn't remind me of all the things that I have done wrong like my "support system" had done. Instead it just let me take out all my anger, hurt, sadness and even happiness out on it. It absorbed every time my foot hit the ground, it took in every deep breath and it let me waste all the negative energy out on it. It took everything that was bad and in return made me confident.
I found myself wanting to go to practice. I wanted to see my new best friend. I wanted to tell it how my day was just through my fatigue and gross feeling I had in my stomach. I would spend an hour every day and when I was done I felt like a jewel that had just been polished. Sure I was coated with sweat, breathing hard and had numb legs, but I wasn't numb. I wasn't hurting. I was feeling something for once for the first time in a long time. Running never hurt me like the world has.
Now I am addicted to the adrenaline rush. I want to get to the top of the hill to show myself that I can. I find my sore legs as a reminder that I have a date with my friend that day, and the second I start running the hurt goes away. On the times that I fail to run I get sick. I get tried and I realize it's my body reminding me just how much I need running in my life.
Running has changed my life, and when you run you truly do release more then just sweat.
No comments:
Post a Comment