What should I do?

So, This pretty much sucks... I go to school and he is the high light of my day. I'm automatically happy. Someone please take me to the hospital.

I can't like him. I wont. Okay, I will try not to. Boyfriends ruin everything! When I have a boyfriend my grades go down, I suck it up more then usual at track, and I'm never satisfied with the way I look. Yeah... Everything is messed up. But then again. He seems to make everything better. When my grades go down he tells me not to worry about it, that I can do this. Then, when I have a meet he tells me he KNOWS I will do good. On days I look like crap he compliments me.

Of course, this wouldn't be a problem if I didn't over think things. I over worry about my grades, I kinda want to quit track and focus on grades... track is almost over anyways, and I am never satisfied with the way I look. Then, I over thought liking him. I thought about how if when we break up we would hate each other. We wouldn't talk as much or have as much fun when we do talk. Also, hanging out with him after that would be awkward. Then, while we were going out he would get to know me better and realize what a freak I am. That or just plain get sick of me. Also, a girl like me wouldn't last a day with a guy like him... He's so... perfect. It's not fair. Standing next to him is like standing next to the richest guy in the world when you're a hobo. So, I figured that if I didn't go out with him and just stay friends everything would be great because none of that would happen. Then, me and my stupid over thinking things... I thought about how would if he gets sick of trying. Would if just being friends is boring and he gets sick of me. Would if this amazing girl walks into his life and they go out and NEVER break up! WOULD IF WOULD IF WOULD IF! Really... Kacee... Really...

Obviously... I'm such a loser! Seriously, why can't I be care free like every other teenager in this world? Life would be so much less complicated for me. It really would. So... What to do... What to do... Ask the guy out? Pray extremely hard he says yes, and risk messing things up with your friendship? Or, not go out with him and bore him to death with your overly boring personality.... Follow your heart? No, you have to have a heart to do that one. Huh? Do what makes me happy? Having him for as long as I can would make me happy. Yeah. Call me stupid, but I just want him in my life no matter what. Since, my dad passed I have an issue with losing people. When I find someone that matters. I try everything to keep them around. Goll... I'm crazy.